Without A Net

I got to watch the new movie In Time the other night.  I actually kind of liked it.  The big plot gag, is that money has been replaced with time.  Supposedly in this alternate future, medicine has solved all our medical problems, and we can theoretically live for hundreds of years with no problem, barring accidents.  Since there is simply not enough room on this earth for all the people that would stack up under such a system + birthrate; people's mortality is regulated via a hardwired 'clock'.  You have 25 years to live, then your clock gives you one more year of time, which you can spend like money, or add to as well. 

Just as with money in our current system, some people have lots of time, others do not, and don't live much past 25.  Most die, so that a few can live forever.

I don't think it was executed perfectly, but the concept is brilliant, and obviously works as a parallel for our own real world problems with class and money.  Plus, I really get a kick out of Justin Timberlake, all his SNL appearances have really endeared him to me.  I guess check it out if you get a chance.

One of the recurring themes of the storyline, is that Justin's character often only has enough time left on his 'clock' to let him live through the day.  What comes tomorrow, he worries about then.  Living day to day.  Without a net.

It's kind of how many of us live today.  I know I do.  Paycheck to paycheck, thankfully, and not day to day.  Although, I can certainly envision it easily. 

I'm 40 years old, I have no savings in the bank.  None. 

I have stuff, which I could turn into cash I suppose, or trade for things if push came to shove.  But I have no cushion whatsoever.

Shit, writing that down, and looking at it, scares the hell out of me actually. 

No savings.  No retirement account.  Well, except for a $450 a month pension I have from United Technologies.  Can't collect any of that until I hit 65 I think.  Who knows how little that will buy in 25 years though. 

My paycheck is pretty much spent out every two weeks.  Recharged automatically by my direct deposit around 1 am on payday. 

My reaction to seeing all that in print.  That definitely tells me that I haven't changed much.  Despite declaring bankruptcy four years ago, and losing our NY house to foreclosure two years ago; I am still a financial disaster.

I just don't think about it.  It's what gets me by.  What will be, will be.  I'll find a way to pay for whatever is needed.

I operate on a mostly cash basis these days.  I do have two small credit accounts, one with Dell Finance (I bought a computer!), and another with PayPal and their Bill Me Later system.  I keep small balances on each of them.  I'm trying to build my credit back up.

Credit for what, exactly?

I'll have to get a mortgage on the house we own currently in two years.  We had a lot of help getting this house, and were very lucky to have found it for the price it was and sellers who were willing to take a Land Contract.  I figure I'll be able to get a decent loan by then, hopefully.

Might want another vehicle sometime in the near future too.  Our minivan we bought new (!) in 2000 is getting a bit long in the tooth, as you can imagine.  But I keep it running, and functioning.  I am a half decent mechanic, after all.  Rust will be it's downfall in the end I'm afraid.  We have our eye on Mazda5's at the moment.  They seem like they would work for our family of 5 pretty well.  They are reasonably priced, and get almost 30 mpg.  And they have a smile on their front end.  You might have to Google image them to see what I mean, but it's true!

Who knows though.  I have dreams of finding a better job somewhere.  But my current plans are to stay put for the next nine years or so.  I would like the kids to be able to finish high school with people they know.  Doesn't seem fair to make them move around and switch friends, just because I'm chasing a dollar.  Some things don't have a price tag.

I want to save some money, I really do.  It's the darndest thing.  Whenever I seem to start to get ahead, someone will need to go to the Emergency Room, or a car will break down, or the house will need something. 

I should find a way to make my writing pay.  I mean, gosh, I do it almost every day as it is. 

One of my coworkers writes a little on the side, and he gets paid for it.  He writes little articles of interest for various magazines, and has done interviews, such as you would find in Rolling Stone Magazine.  He shared one of his articles with me just the other day.  It was short, no more than three pages long on standard paper, and pretty well done. 

In the back of my head, I was telling myself, "I could do that!".  But my front brain recognized something too.  It was simple, straightforward, and clean.  Either you know what I mean, or you don't.  The point being, that I don't know if I really could write that way.  It was good, I mentioned that, but it also smacked of a school assignment.  And a part of me didn't like it for that reason.

I write for my pleasure these days, and I give this shit away for free.  I'm the tramp that puts the prostitutes out of business!  So to speak, anyways. 

I have to recognize, that what I write, I do in a particular style.  I'm sure it's not unique, or perhaps even good, but it's how I like to write.  And I don't know if it's marketable.

Maybe I'll give it a try, what's the harm?  After all, I do it anyways.  Getting paid for it would be pretty fun, might be able to save up for that new chrome walker I'll be needing someday. 

That's in the future though, and I'm just worrying about today.

So for now, the savings account will just be marking time with the same $10 in it to keep it open.  The checking account will grow and shrink, like the waxing and waning of the moon.  Except a whole lot faster cycle. 

Tomorrow is another day, after all, who knows what it will bring?

Cheers:  To living without a net!