Where Fred Will, and Will Not

I have often said that I have a certain line across North America; below which I will not live.  I used to call it my own personal Mason-Dixon Line, but in light of wishing to not become mired in any discussion of the Southern Confederacy and what they may or may not have stood for; I have officially renamed it "Fred's DMZ"

As you can see, Fred's DMZ stretches from sea to shining sea.  Encompassing (from East to West) Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, roughly the Northern half of New York, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Oregon, Washington, and naturally all of Canada & Alaska.

You may notice some odd things on the path of the DMZ.  Most odd being the exclusion of all of Idaho.  Reason being that I have no use for Idaho or their potatoes (and I may or may not have been arrested there once.  Spoiler Alert:  I have not).

I fell in love with the San Francisco/Northern California area (only the half closest to the ocean!!) once on a visit there; so that has been added as an addendum.

As for New York:  Everything South of Albany might as well belong to New York City; so they can have it.  

My choice of the Area Fred Will Live is based exclusively upon Climate.  As I like to have four solid seasons, with an average temperature somewhere around 50 to 60 degrees F.  The rules being bent a bit for the Pacific Northwest, due to their great beauty, and generally tolerable climate.

Perhaps South Dakota made that cut, but being that it has 'South' in its name, it got tossed to the pigs.

Fred's DMZ could be extended, using the mentioned rules, to wrap all around the Northern Hemisphere, and I should probably work on that someday.  The same could be said for the Southern Hemisphere. 

A previous version of this map, had me accepting every single state that touched Canada.  With the DMZ being those state's Southern borders.  But that had drawbacks, so had to be discarded.

I do make exception for most places within a couple miles of a Great Lake.  So I think we have to imagine a stretch of land that I would deem acceptable, that runs all along the South shore of Lake Erie.  The rest of Ohio is pretty 'meh'.  

I apologize if you are a big Ohio, Idaho, or NYC fan; as I called those three places out specifically.   

There might be something to learn about me from this map, or not.  

If you have read down this far, I have it on good authority that the next set of winning Powerball numbers is:  13, 22, 24, 36, 47  - 14


Cheers!

The Spartacus Poem

Why do you poem, poet?

I have zero idea, and I actually give zero fucks about it.

I can't explain that statement, any more than I can explain why I'm still writing.  Writing what?  I don't know from day to day.  I've given up on writing the great American novel; as so many people joke about (but I think are dead serious about secretly) doing.

I just submitted a poem to my regular group, in a new thing they are trying, called The Contest.  Nobody really wins anything, which is just how I like my rewards to be: frugal and far between.

For this contest we are to write a poem, and then instead of posting it to the group, we email it to the moderators, who post it for us.  That way, nobody knows who posted what.

I corresponded with one of the mods, about how I kind of put my stamp on things that I write.  I'm saying that as a brag, since I haven't decided if it's a good thing or not, but I have developed a certain style to my writing.  She said that seemed fine, as there were several others that she could probably identify just by the writing style as well.  

Predictably, I couldn't get that short exchange out of my head all day, and ended up writing about trying to remove fingerprints in a pretty awful way; transitioning from an expression of the freedom of being anonymous - to the fingerprint removal - to declaring I was Spartacus.

It almost makes sense if you read the actual piece.  Almost.

I've taken to Twitter lately.  After resisting it pretty successfully for quite awhile.  And I use it to write short little things.  Pithy poems usually, or bits of longer things; and occasionally, a direct response to another Tweet from someone.  It is rewarding when that person happens to notice what I did.

Oh, sweet vanity.

I don't have much of a point.  As usual.  Oh, I did publish my 'anonymous' Spartacus poem on my blog first, before I sent it to be posted, by someone other than me.  The glass is half empty, don't forget.

Cheers

Kristen's Nine Questions

Presented here, are my answers, and the questions, to "Nine Things I Wonder About Other Writers" put together by Kristen, from her blog post over at Navigations (little lodestar).  http://www.littlelodestar.com/?p=4759

Brought to my attention courtesy of my friend T. Pascal, who saw it thanks to our mutual acquaintance Shen Hart.

1. Do you share your work with your partner or spouse? Does it matter if it’s been published yet? 

I share what I write with my spouse sometimes.  Though I've learned what to expect from certain things.  If it is an especially rhyme-y poem, then I can expect a standard "Nope, I don't like that" with an accompanying muttering as she walks away that sounds an awful lot like "Fucking Doctor Seuss rhymey whiney bullshit....."  My more narrative story pieces get a much better reception from this quarter.

Second half of the question almost doesn't count?  As everything that I write gets published, first on the daily blog, then in the yearly collection at the end of the calendar year (or put into a special collection if it is of a theme or storyline)

2. How much of your family and/or closest “friends in real life first” read your stuff…let alone give you feedback about it? 

That's both easy and hard to define, in that order.  My mother wants hard copies of my books for her coffee tables, though I have no idea if she has ever cracked on open; and I've spared her my more risque publications as well.  I receive no comments from my family about my writing.  I get the distinct feeling they all might be embarrassed about it all (my wife being the exception).

Friends in real life?  I'm not sure I have any anymore perhaps.  Of people I interact with face to face, I have nobody I would consider a friend anymore.  Defined by:  seeing someone outside of work on purpose for drinking/playing/etc.  I have people I consider work-circle friends, and none of them have read my writing, that I know of.

I have several people I do not see face to face, whom I have met through the internet, that I chat with almost every single day.  I consider them friends in real life.  They have all read my writing, and have thought highly off the odd piece here and there.  And their opinion means the world to me, as shown by the tears that well up at just the thought of them at this moment.

I don't ask for feedback often.  When I do, I truly need it for reasons out of my control.  My ego is a fragile thing, and a rejection or harsh comment from a real person can send me into a tailspin that will see me not write anything for weeks as a result.  My friends and fellow writers have so far shown a talent for weaving constructive criticism into a comment that does not harm me, only helps.  For that I am thankful.

3. What do you do with the pieces that continually get rejected–post on your blog? Trash? When do you know it’s time to let it go?

Clearly, these questions were written by a 'real' writer, who actually submits things to others for publication.  I don't do that (see the fragile ego issue from the last question).

I did submit a couple things two years ago to a certain publication.  One which I thought I had not one, but two, slam dunks to offer them.  Much to my chagrin, they were both rejected.

I was only somewhat consoled by the fact that none of the pieces that made it into their book were poetry based.  Serving to cement their bad taste.

Those two pieces ended up in my erotic poetry collection.  With a pithy paragraph in the introduction, shaming the rejecting entities.

I guess I don't let things go in the traditional sense.  As my version of letting go, is publishing.

4. Are there pieces you write for one very specific place that, once rejected, you just let go of, or do you rework into something else?

See the above question for reference on this.  I do write for specific places sometimes.  Once, I was asked to write a guest blogger entry or three.  But that turned into a bit of a fail.  As I took it far too seriously, and threw my personal style right out the window in the interest of writing "Professionally".  Turns out, my personal style was the whole reason I'd been asked to submit guest writing to begin with.  Lesson noted.

I also write to the weekly prompt in the community group Poets of G+.  I should do that every week, as it is a very healthy exercise for me.  But I don't.

Incidentally, something I wrote specifically for the Prompt, got rejected right out of there one week.  I was tiffed beyond belief.  Especially as I had gone to great lengths, gone around the world the opposite direction, etc; to incorporate the prompt in a 1600 word piece (as the last line).  It got rejected as "This is not poetry".  I was mad about that for about a year.  Then I realized that, regardless of the style I wrote it in, it kind of wasn't poetry.  This was really hit home when I did successfully write a narrative poem for the same group, which got high praise from people whose opinion I valued.

I took that 'Not Poetry' and it is being incorporated into a section of a novel I am working on.  And I am twice as happy that I was prodded by that prompt into writing it now.

5. What is your main source of reading-based inspiration (especially you essayists)? Blogs? Magazines? Journals? Anthologies? Book of essays by one writer?

I am often inspired by what my fellow writers will post online.  I enjoy riffing on their ideas sometimes, and have been pleased with some of the results.  Beyond that, anything I read could serve as an inspiration, often the most banal things, like Wiki articles, or some five part list article on Cracked.

I am currently dredging everything up in my memory banks about 1800's to early 1900's beliefs about our Solar System.  So lots of Red Mars stuff; like Princess of Mars, and The Martian Chronicles.  Along with the 2014 anthology "Old Mars".  (I've pre-ordered "Old Venus" as well.)  Stories and ideas that had us thinking that these other planets were places we could go walk around on.

The question doesn't ask, but I write what I consider to be my best poetry, with music playing.  It gives me a rhythm and phrasing to write to. Sometimes one song on a loop will serve as a template for a poem.  And nobody ever knows.....(usually)

6. What tends to spark ideas more for you: what you see/hear in daily life or what you read?

(oops, I should have waited)  When it comes to poetry, more than anything else, music inspires it.  The best, are songs that have particularly good lyric phrasing, that provides a real structure to write to.

My passions inspire writing as well;  aviation, aviation maintenance, typewriters, tools, animals in the backyard, even odd stains on the wall.

I never know what will inspire something in me.

7. Who have you read in the past year or two that you feel is completely brilliant but so underappreciated?

Ok, I want very badly to say "Almost everything that T. Pascal writes".  But, since he dropped my name as an answer to this same question, that raises moral implications for this answer.

So I must think of another writer.... I discovered someone on Tumblr just recently, who is very much on my wavelength as far as writing, and I loved some of his pieces.  And damned if I can recall who it is.  (this kind of illustrates how much of a mess I find tumblr is to use when you want to find something specific!)

I guess I kind of failed this question.  NEXT!

8. Without listing anything written by Dani Shapiro, Anne Lamott, Lee Gutkind, or Natalie Goldberg, what craft books are “must haves”?

I have to echo a previous answer to this, a little less elegantly, with a hearty "Who the feck are these people we aren't supposed to mention now?"  I suppose this utterly reveals my roots as a not real writer/author individual.  But I have no idea, as I don't know even what those people write about.

I refer to the Chicago Manual of Style, when I work my publishing end of things sometimes.  And I think everyone should reference some manual of publishing style when making a book or ebook, at the very least just to see what you are doing blatantly wrong.  Beyond that, I don't consider any book on the craft of writing to be a must have.

I think this is because I have decided upon a course of style for my writing, and I'm tacking HARD into it.  Come hell or high water, the what and how I write will be recognized in the long run.  Or not.  I'm not going to change my craft to suit anyone else, ever again.

9. Have you ever regretted having something published? Was it because of the content or the actual writing style/syntax? 

Almost; and it was because of the content.

The first thing I almost regretting writing, and publishing for the world to see; was about some early sexual experiences I had with someone.  And when I say 'early', I mean that I was seven years old.

I feel that sharing things like that, in public places such as this, lets it be found by people who may be feeling like freaks for having something similar happen to them when they were young.  It is important to talk about such things, so that nobody feels alone.

For context, think about someone with a 'weird' thing happening to their body.  If you Google it, chances are, you'll find a group of people talking about just that exact thing.  It helps you feel like you aren't alone, and gives you some idea of how to deal with it.

Well, that bit I wrote, got me accused of being a pedophile by one particular, vocal, person.  And while this all happened within a relatively small community group; it was one of the most upsetting things I've ever experienced in my life.

It was a real test of my practice of using my real name for publishing things online, as well as my practice of not taking things down, as long as they were an honest representation of who I am in real life, warts and all.

This incident also cemented a few people as real friends in my mind.  Are they "real face to face" friends?  No, and we may never actually share a cup of coffee together, as it were.  But they are real friends to me, as real as it gets.  They each defended what I had written, long before I even realized what was going on, and even offered experiences in their own lives regarding similar things.  It was cathartic for me in the end.

A real experience.

As another thing on this last question: I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, when it comes to my election as a School Board Trustee last fall for the local school.  I kind of can't wait, and am kind of dreading, the day that someone around here discovers my writing.

I'm not ashamed of anything I've put out, and I started actively writing online, and publishing in 2011/12.  So this facet of my life was very public knowledge to the voters of my district, long before my election victory.  If anyone had bothered to Google my name, everything is laid out to find.

So I sometimes wonder; will it be my erotic poetry book?  or perhaps that time I explored racism? or even my series of essays on creating a libertarian/communist society out of America?  And let's not forget my short story on a fictional violent coup attempt in the USA.

But I won't back down from a word of it.  Not one bloody word.  For if you read all the silly things I've written, between the Worries, the poetry, the stories; that is who I am.  And if I deny who I am, then I am nobody.

And being a nobody to even yourself, would be the worst thing I can think of.

Cheers

What I wrote to Tim about self publishing - via FB

A coworker noticed that I self-published books of my work; and asked me about how to make them. So I gave him this blowhard-length answer. I can't recall when we had this exchange now, must have been late 2012? This is what I told him:
"Tim, I apologize for not being more illuminating earlier about books and publishing. I'd be happy to talk about it if you were interested.

I go into it in greater detail in the foreword of my first book. But the gist of the "Why?" is the having of a legacy of some kind.

I'm not much of a builder, or a physical media artist. So beyond my kids, I wanted to leave something with my name on it behind when I go. For me, that meant writing, and subsequently publishing what I wrote into some books that could survive beyond me.

It's been a lot of fun so far. I initially looked into www.lulu.com for self publishing, as they make it insanely easy to put together just about any kind of book you'd like to have. Photo books, poetry books, novels, etc. And you can have just one made for yourself, or a thousand. Prices not bad either.

I gravitated to Amazon's Kindle publishing site, as well as their Createspace physical book site; for the simple fact of having a larger audience via Amazon able to see and get my books. It fit my goal a little better.

Amazon give me exposure, but not necessarily lots of sales. I get more traffic as far as downloads using Smashwords.com where my books are available for free as ebooks.

It's not as physical as I'd like, but it lets people read them if they wish.

I don't plan on getting rich, or famous, off my books. The best thing I could envision happening, would be someone becoming inspired by something I came up with, to write, or make, something really great. So I just imagine what I write to be "Seeds" for human creativity.

Keeps me realistic, and humble.

But yeah, if you wanted to put something together, I'd be happy to give any advice I might have gained so far.

My first book, was a real monster to put together: Over 700 pages, 75,000 words, 366 chapters. It was a real learning experience. And basically chronicled what I did as far as writing, every day, in 2011.

Sorry this got so long. Hour long lunch, plus idle hands, equals this. Sometimes.

Cheers!"



1/24/2015 update: he never got back with me. So either my advice was so good that he didn't need to; or ..... other.

I'm betting hard on 'other'.

Cheers
To not knowing as much as I think.

Beware The Shithouse Fool

"You should've been a lawyer"

I get that a lot.  Often from my wife, or my mother.  I used to get it from my dad, but he doesn't say much anymore; though I try to get his opinions on things when I think about visiting his grave*.  And I'm sure that people I work with sometimes think to themselves "Shithouse lawyer", when I lay some of my oh-so-reasoned-logical arguments upon them.

I say a lot of that with tongue firmly in cheek of course.  Because I shouldn't have been, and they do, and no they really are not.  Answered and commented in order with reference to the above.

I should be a lawyer, for about the first three minutes of a conflict; whether it be a debate, discussion, argument, whatever.  After that, I start to wonder why I'm there, and what all the fuss was about.

But by then, I've said things I have to stick with now.  Why?  Pride?  Not sure.  But I try to.  Often for as much as five minutes more.  By which time I've mentally thrown in the towel.  Fuck it.  Because few things are worth the kind of effort it takes to maintain a logical repartee in debate for that long.  We are talking upwards of 8 minutes here, people!

I try not to do it anymore really.

I'd go on about this as I have about things in the past, but to be honest, I'm feeling too down about the latest of such incidents last night.  After the other person really only showed concern for me on a certain subject, that I did not want to discuss; I got defensive, I got dicky, and after an appropriate amount of defensive offense, which hurt the other person's feelings; I disengaged.

Because.  Effort.  Fuck it.

If an argument isn't even worth it to me to finish, I should probably start to preemptively stop myself from starting it.  I think I'd be better off in the long run.

The only question is:  Will my wife get sick of my bullshit, before I stop?

Cheers
To being a complete fool, apparently.


*Me thinking of visiting my dad's grave, consists of me driving right by where he is buried.  Probably only about 75 yards away.  Twice a day, every day that I work.  When I'm feeling emotionally peckish, I will think thoughts of him and his morals and opinions as I go by.  But never stop.

And the answer to that why, would take a much longer separate post.  And just not today, thanks.

Oh, but I did visit my Grandparent's grave a week or so ago.  My Mom's mom and dad.  They are down in Saginaw, in a Mausoleum.  A place which reminds me of Hellraiser, and gave me bad dreams.  I miss them though, and I plan on going back to leave some pictures of them on the wall next to their names, as we saw a lot of the other one's had.  1980 was so very long ago.