I'm having a bad case of the "I was gonna's".
I was gonna write about how I'm a racist, in an ironic way. But for some reason, it's falling flat for me.
Here, you decide:
Here, in the great North Country of Michigan, where I work for an airline. We had a muslim working with us. I guess you might call him a Muslim, with a capital M. He wore what I picture as an "ethnic" shirt, sort of a tunic looking thing, and his white knit head covering, and he took time out to pray during the day.
My reaction to him working here, was much more mild than some I have talked to, but, I can't pat myself on the back. Because, every time I looked at him, I had bad feelings. Not to trust him, didn't want to be around him, etc. And then, then, I'd be angry at myself, immediately, for feeling like that. And I'd have silly discussions with myself in my head, all about how silly I was being. As a matter of fact, I'd get so upset with myself for how I was feeling about him, that I'd come right back around to wishing he wasn't around, so that I wouldn't have to feel all the racist guilt.
Fucked up, huh.
It's the closest I've come to real self reflection in a while.
I DO have racist feelings, quite often. It's based on many things, the people I'm around, incidents in my past, and all the things I'm exposed to. Just like everything else.
I keep these feelings inside. I never utter the N-word aloud anymore (thanks Phil!), which in itself is worthy of a discussion, as the 'not' saying of a word, while still saying it, so to speak, just gives the word more power. Just like the whole "he who shall not be named" thing, with Voldemort. In that book, you know.
But I digress, totally.
I keep my racism in check. Because I know it's the right thing to do. Be nice, be fair, be kind. No matter what the person looks like.
I hope that if I set a good example, my children might grow up without all the racist baggage that I was saddled with. Maybe they won't have to hide it inside, and feel bad about themselves for it.
I don't know where I was going with this, nor where I came from. So that's it.
cheers
I was gonna write about how I'm a racist, in an ironic way. But for some reason, it's falling flat for me.
Here, you decide:
Here, in the great North Country of Michigan, where I work for an airline. We had a muslim working with us. I guess you might call him a Muslim, with a capital M. He wore what I picture as an "ethnic" shirt, sort of a tunic looking thing, and his white knit head covering, and he took time out to pray during the day.
My reaction to him working here, was much more mild than some I have talked to, but, I can't pat myself on the back. Because, every time I looked at him, I had bad feelings. Not to trust him, didn't want to be around him, etc. And then, then, I'd be angry at myself, immediately, for feeling like that. And I'd have silly discussions with myself in my head, all about how silly I was being. As a matter of fact, I'd get so upset with myself for how I was feeling about him, that I'd come right back around to wishing he wasn't around, so that I wouldn't have to feel all the racist guilt.
Fucked up, huh.
It's the closest I've come to real self reflection in a while.
I DO have racist feelings, quite often. It's based on many things, the people I'm around, incidents in my past, and all the things I'm exposed to. Just like everything else.
I keep these feelings inside. I never utter the N-word aloud anymore (thanks Phil!), which in itself is worthy of a discussion, as the 'not' saying of a word, while still saying it, so to speak, just gives the word more power. Just like the whole "he who shall not be named" thing, with Voldemort. In that book, you know.
But I digress, totally.
I keep my racism in check. Because I know it's the right thing to do. Be nice, be fair, be kind. No matter what the person looks like.
I hope that if I set a good example, my children might grow up without all the racist baggage that I was saddled with. Maybe they won't have to hide it inside, and feel bad about themselves for it.
I don't know where I was going with this, nor where I came from. So that's it.
cheers
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