An Apple a Day

An apple a day'
Keeps the doctor away
Or so they say
and thus it must be true

If we take that as gospel
Then perhaps ten would be better
Let's ask the apple apostle
And see what he says

Oh mighty apple guru
Where one is good
Shall many be better?
Or is that more than I should

Shall I be wary?

In response to my query
He gave good advice
If a little scary
And it was so good
I read it thrice!

Dear apple questioner
Your askance is reasonable
Though inadvisable
For reasons I shall now get into

One apple keeps things moving
Your stomach and upper GI
Your colon it groovin
All things work like they should

But add in too many
And trouble comes a plenty
Your stool will be
How you say?

"loose"

I don't mean the kind you sit on
With it's legs getting wobbly
I mean the kind you leave behind
And don't want to pick up after yourself

Lets just say it gets messy
And leave it at that
So keep the apple consumption within reason
So you don't scare the cat

As you would with the scene
That would happen if you
Consumed too many apples
Which I would term as more than two

Regards to your apple intentions
I remain the guru in question
Representing apples
In all their description

The Guy On the Side of the Road

There's a guy lying on the side of the road.

I think to myself that that just can't be. It's right next to a boat shaped planter thing which has a mailbox sticking out of it. Maybe it's someone's scarecrow decoration that tipped over.

Except, I drive this stretch of road twice a day. I've not seen a scarecrow thing there before. It just feels wrong.

It might be some person that went out to get their mail, and collapsed near the mailbox.

I was a couple hundred yards down the road now. And there were lots of other cars around. Nobody stopped.

WTF?

So now I'm concerned, that everyone is just driving by and not checking.  So I pull to the shoulder, and hang a u turn. My heart is racing because I'm worried I might have to do CPR or something.  It's been four years since my last refresher course.

Or maybe this person is dead.  Or maybe it really is just a scarecrow. If it is, I'm going to set it back where it goes, so it stops freaking me out.

I get back to the driveway and pull in.  Grabbing my phone, I hop out and come around the car. Sure enough, it's a guy. 

I call out to him, "Hey, you all right?"

He opens his eyes, "I'm fine.  You got any food?"

I guess I ignore that second part, I don't have any food. 

"You sure you're ok?" I ask again, I'm not really buying it. 

"Yes, I'm good.  They've checked on me.  Give me some food."

Ok, now I'm a little irritated. So I give some lecture-y advice:

"you shouldn't lay there.  I thought you were hurt.  Lots of other people will too you know.  Plus you're like, five feet from a highway.  You could get hurt."

"Give me some food, or go away" is all he answers with. 

So I tell him he should move again, and I walk back to my car.

I'm still concerned, but mostly annoyed now.

But, as I drive away, I think that maybe he does need help of some kind. So for only the second time in my life, I dial 911.

911 picks up "911 Dispatch, what's your emergency?"

I'm not sure how to start, so I introduce myself

"Hello, this is Fred Robel calling,...........um.....I was just driving home, and there was this guy.........."

They interrupt me, "If this is about the guy on the side of the road, he's already been dealt with, and he is fine."

But I persist:  "Yeah, it is, but I mean, I stopped and talked to him, and he IS ok, or he says he is.  But, he's still there....."

They give me the official brush off:  "The police have been dealing with him all day sir.  They transported him to the hospital, and he was fine.  There isn't anything else they can do for him."

It was apparent that nothing was going to happen.  So I thanked them, and they thanked me, and we hung up on each other.

At this point, I'd like to say that I went and got him some food and dropped it off to him.  Or offered him a ride somewhere.  Or something, anything.

But I didn't. 

I stopped and picked up Chinese food for my family, and drove the rest of the twenty miles home thinking that I should have done something.

I didn't see him there on my way to work this morning.  Nobody walking, or sitting, or laying anywhere I could see.  No man in dirty jeans and maroon carhart jacket anywhere to be found.

No chance to redeem myself.

Maybe someone else helped him out. 

Or maybe I was supposed to be that someone.

And someone, dropped the ball.

Cheers, to me thinking I should rename this blog to something like:  My Failing at being Human.

Preemptive Homicide?

So I have a modest proposal, and no, it doesn't involve genocide.

I've seen the Tyvonne (Tyvek?) shooting that happened in Florida recently, absolutely beaten to death in the media.  This guy that shot him, Zimmerman I think is his name, may or may not face any kind of punishment.  For what may or may not have been a justified defense shooting.

That someone has the right to shoot someone if they are threatened with violence, I do not dispute.  I'm down with that kind of cowboy shit.

That someone has the right to carry a firearm I also believe in.

Where the rubber meets the road though, is in how they use it, and when, and where.  I know there are guidelines for this crap in all the state firearm carry laws.

And who, who do you use it on?

That's a sticky thing.  As you might have seen above, I don't remember the kid's name.  I'm not even going to look it up.  He's dead.  Plain and simple.  There is no reason for me to know his name.  I didn't know him, I didn't love him.  But should he have been shot?

Let's make the assumption that he was threatening violence on that Zimmerman fella, because otherwise there is no real discussion, it would just be some degree of murder.

Assuming there was violence in the offing, should Zimmerman have shot him?  Did the kid have a weapon?  Does it matter?  I've seen people get beaten to death with someone's bare hands (thanks internet!), so I know it can be done.  Maybe this kid was a bad kid.  Does that mean he deserved a death sentence?

Here's a really weird thought:  Would it be better to let the kid beat on you some?  Or just shoot him?  What sort of an attack really deserves an armed response?

If you have a handgun, does it matter?  After all, you could be disarmed, and the gun used against you.

So I guess I answered that one myself.  If you have a gun, and you are attacked, you have to assume that the other person could get your gun and use it against you.  Therefore, a lethal response is your only choice.

What if there are no weapons involved?  Should you go for the kill?  After all that is a major movie trope, one that gets reenacted in real life often as well; the bit about the guy coming after you again at a later date, and you don't do so well this time.  Should you kill them preemptively?

Now that though, opens up some interesting doors.  Kind of leads to a free for all of defensive killing, before there is even a fight!

I think it sucks.  I have more questions than answers.  To really turn the other cheek, one would have to not go armed to begin with I think.

I don't remember where I wanted to go with this when I started.  Something about citations for improper gun use or some such.  And here I am, at the sad conclusion, that if you carry a gun in public, you should just shoot everyone you see until you run out of ammo.  Why?  Because any one of them could attack you at any moment, and take your weapon from you, and use it to kill you instead.

There, that's why I don't carry.  If I did, it would only lead to homicide!  Otherwise, why carry one?  A fashion accessory?  Please.

Cheers, to preemptive homicide!

Oh, I forgot, one of the reasons I wanted to write about this, is what I read that a Facebook person said.

He said something to the effect of this:  "That kid in Florida had been suspended from school multiple times, been caught with drugs, and had punched someone in the nose, breaking it.  And you're telling me it was a mistake to shoot him?  He deserved it!"

I was appalled to no end.  I didn't even reply.  How do you reply to something like that?  It's like saying that if you've done something wrong, then there is no hope for you, you should just die.  Right now.

If what he said is true, then I should have been shot around the age of 20.

But I didn't get shot.  I lived on.  I grew up, and saw the mistakes I made in life.  I try to not make them again.  I try to be a good person.  I fail often, but I keep trying.

It's all you can do.

But that kid in Florida?  He doesn't get a chance to be a better person, to learn from those mistakes.  He had judgement passed on him, and died in a puddle of blood on the street, wearing his infamous hoodie.

And I can't even be troubled to remember his name.